Rapport, Rapport, Rapport

Rapport is probably the one ingredient in business that reaches the parts other ingredients cannot reach.

Unless you’ve got a product or a service that literally flies of the shelves by itself you probably need to know about RAPPORT.

Did you know that you can spend THOUSANDS on MARKETING and waste most of it because of bad RAPPORT.

A proper understanding of rapport cannot be over-emphasised.  Developing this aspect of your personality will lead to success in many areas of your life.  Rapport ‘oils the wheels’ of most interactions between people.   If you are in rapport with someone you are much more likely to reach agreement with them.   In fact, if you are not in rapport you are very unlikely to get anywhere with them at all.

Rapport is a French Word.    We don’t really have a word in the English language for what we mean when we talk about RAPPORT.    Rapport is subtle.    Rapport is powerful.    If you’ve got it you can achieve what you want.    If you don’t you won’t.   

So why is RAPPORT so important?  Think about it.    If you don’t have rapport, then you can’t be trusted.     If you don’t have rapport, then you won’t be believed.    If you don’t have rapport, then you can’t win, you lose!

So what is RAPPORT?   Rapport is like an energy between people.    Rapport indicates a special sense of ‘liking’.     Rapport shows us that a set of unsaid values exist between people.

Put simply:

You Are In Rapport With Someone If They Think You Are:

“Like Them”

 “Part Of The Same Tribe” “A Member Of The Family”

It’s difficult to know the precise origins of the Rapport process.   May be it really is a tribal thing, something from our time in the jungle when we had little or no language.    We would have needed an indication that the person we were near was safe, perhaps a feeling that this chap with the spear is with us, not against us, and won’t, without warning, attack us.

So why is it so important today in the 21^st Century, and why is it so important in business?

It’s important to be aware of this aspect of our relationships with other people particularly where we need to influence other people.   In many ways we get into rapport naturally.   If you think about it for a moment, if you somehow did not have a natural sense of rapport you probably wouldn’t have survived too well!

The biggest problems usually occur when we forget about how important it is to be in rapport.  In fact with rapport it is often errors of omission that cause us the most problems.  Perhaps we upset someone by acting inappropriately.  Perhaps we behave or say something in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable.

Rapport Rules

You need to learn how to achieve rapport with someone, how to maintain it and how to spot instantly when you have broken rapport and how to correct it.

There are many different aspects of people's personalities, but we are going to consider just two aspects.  These two aspects are whether they are introverts or extroverts and how they solve problems, either by breaking them down into tasks or by using their people influencing skills to get the problem solved.

Take a look at the diagram below:

I expect that you know the difference between an introvert and an extrovert.  As you look at the line with those two characteristics situated at either end, whereabouts do you place yourself on that line?  As you consider this question, you might also like to think about asking other people where they think you are on the line.  Ask some friends, some close business associates, and also your coach.

As for the other line, how do you deal with problems?  Are you more likely to break them down into tasks or do you tend to use your people skills to somehow answer the problem?  Once again, ask other people what they think.  Once you have drawn some conclusions about where you are on these two lines, you will then be able to tell which of the main four rapport groups you are in.
 

Other Things You Should Know

1.   Beware of Upsetting Affables - don't upset an Affable, you will never know that they are upset.  Affables are very nice people, so nice that they don't like to tell you how they feel about you if the feeling they have isn’t very nice. But they will then go and tell their friends! As you can imagine, from a networking point of view this isn't very helpful.  In fact, when Affables ‘put the knife in’ you never feel it.  So be careful!

2.   Take Your Time With Logicals - Logicals are uncomfortable with Energetic people. They see them as lightweight, irrational and far too quick in making decisions.  They don't like to be around people who are selling to them.  Logicals like to take their time, and if you take your time with them they will remember the experience. So take the trouble to hear them out, listen to the whole story and don't be too eager to push them towards the decision.

3.   Energetic Anger Burns Out Quickly - Energetics are passionate, Energetics are the thrill seekers, Energetics are quick to emotion.  This means that sometimes their passion positively erupts like Vesuvius!  For many others this can seem very difficult to take.  But the reality is that it doesn't last very long and Energetics do not bear grudges.  So Energetics like to know that you can put up with the occasional flareup.

4.   Directors Play Good Poker! - Directors are good at card games. This means that they’re very good at knowing what's in their hand but giving a very different impression to the other players.  They are usually very well prepared and know how they want to handle the meeting.  What they will be looking for in you, is how capable you are of controlling yourself and them. Be prepared to put forward your point of view, maintain control and offer them decisions to make -- they will respect you.  But make sure you don't show them your full deck of cards because they’ll eat you for breakfast.